Wither
by SomeStoryWriter
Summary: Toris has been withering away in his relationship with Natalia for quite some time. A night with his dear friend Feliks might just turn his world around.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I have nothing against Natalia, she just had to be not so nice for the sake of the story.**

**Also, sex. There's explicit sex. Just so you know.**

Toris could draw the pattern on the ceiling from memory if someone asked him to. He'd spent hours staring at it, for lack of something better to do. It was a welcome distraction, really. The cracks in the seams between the wooden panels, the cobwebs in the corners; all of it offered a means of escape from the here and now.

Natalia's moans were high-pitched and jarring, but it was nothing Toris wasn't used to by now. He focused on the ceiling while she rode him, taking what she wanted from him. He wasn't even sure when he'd gotten used to not enjoying himself. Even as she moved above him, the sight of her naked body did nothing to him.

"Oh, yes..." she sighed, moving faster. Toris knew she preferred it if he stayed quiet. He had started to wonder what he really meant to her. On most days, he felt like a dildo with extras.

She came. Finally, Toris thought. He could go to sleep now. Orgasms weren't a thing on his side. Sometimes, he'd go to the bathroom to finish off, but more often than not, he couldn't be bothered to do so.

Natalia rolled off of him and caught her breath. "'Night," she said, before turning her back to him and falling asleep. He'd been wanting to go to sleep half an hour ago, but he always had to wait for her to finish her business.

He looked over to his sleeping girlfriend. She wasn't all bad. They had plenty of good times together. It was just the sex that was a little… off. Natalia was the dominant type, that he had to admit. But it's what he'd chosen. He'd accepted it with every date she controlled, every round of sex where she took where she wanted. It's just how she was. And he loved her for it. Really.

He stroked her cheek, but she scrunched up her nose and swatted his hand away. He sighed and tried to sleep. Maybe tomorrow would be better. But then again, he told himself that every night.

* * *

"I left money for you on the table. Don't try to spend it all." Natalia checked her nails while Toris wiped his mouth. She'd wanted him to please her before she left. Of course, Toris had obliged.

"I won't."

"I'll be back tomorrow evening. I'll bring something along for dinner."

"Alright."

"Wash your face."

Toris did as he was told and when he came out of the bathroom, Natalia was ready to head out. "Have fun," he said.

"Kiss?"

He stepped closer and gave her a peck on the lips. The act reminded him of cleaning up dog poop—necessary, understandable, but not particularly enjoyable.

"Bye!" And with that, she was out the door.

Toris sat down on the couch and looked around him. He had the whole day to himself. What was he going to do?

His phone buzzed and he looked at the screen. To his surprise, it was Feliks.

_Wanna hang?_

Toris frowned. Did he? He was planning on having a quiet night in.

_Sorry. Maybe another time._

He got up and made himself a cup of coffee. He walked around, moved some things, until he finally felt like his head might implode if he didn't get out of the house.

_I'll be there in ten._

It had been a long time since Toris last saw Feliks. Natalia wasn't fond of him and she got angry whenever the two tried to meet up. Come to think of it, Natalia didn't like most, if not all, of Toris' friends.

While on the road, Toris considered turning the car back around. If Natalia found out he'd been seeing Feliks, she'd get angry for sure. But as soon as Feliks' house came into sight, he found himself unable to do anything but drive straight ahead until his car was parked and he was standing in front of the red front door. It had been hot pink at some point, but after some complaints from neighbors, Feliks had changed it to a more civilized red. Toris remembered painting it together with him. The fun they'd had…

The door opened and Toris realized just how much he'd missed the blond in front of him. "There you are!" Feliks chirped. "Come in! It's been way too long, I was afraid I'd forget what you look like!"

Toris stepped inside the house. It had changed since he'd last been there. But that wasn't a surprise; Feliks changed his interior all the time. The walls were currently yellow, but a new painting job couldn't be far away.

"If I'm honest, I totally didn't expect you to come. Is Natalia gone for the weekend or something?"

"Ah, yes… Until tomorrow evening..." He sat down on the couch. Even though he was nervous about doing something Natalia wouldn't approve of, he was at ease in his friend's home.

"A sleepover it is. Tea?"

"Yes, please." Toris was surprised to see a picture of him and Feliks framed on the wall. It was like he'd been cut off from his past life, his past friends. But apparently, they still considered him a part of their life.

"We're going to have so much fun. It'll be like, a secret. Natalia never has to know."

"Yes, that might be for the best…"

"We can watch movies, talk like we used to do..." He turned on the water boiler and sat down on the couch. Toris was surprised once more by how much he'd missed the other's presence. "How have you been?"

Toris always had some standard answers ready for that question. He didn't want to be caught stammering on the spot. "I'm doing great."

"You are?"

"Yeah. Natalia wants us to go on a vacation so she's been busy planning. She also saw a new couch she wanted, so—"

"I wasn't asking about Natalia. I want to know about you."

Toris didn't know what to say for a moment. He didn't have much to say about himself. "I… I've been busy."

"With what?"

"Just… busy."

"Alright." Feliks got up and poured them their tea. "You know, none of us had expected you and Natalia to like, last this long."

"You hadn't?"

"No. But if it works for you, then it's all good."

"Right..."

"Now, let's get to the fun stuff. I know, we should change into our pajamas!"

"I didn't bring pajamas."

"No problem, you can borrow one of mine. I have one with bunnies which would look too cute on you!"

Toris watched Feliks move around, setting everything up. He thought of how at home he felt, even more so than in his own house. Once, he could have seen himself dating Feliks. How things had changed…

"Here you go!" Feliks held up a pair of baby blue pajamas dotted with tiny bunnies.

At that moment, Toris felt something he hadn't since he'd first started dating Natalia. It washed over him, heating him up and sending shivers down his spine at the same time.

Maybe coming here wasn't such a bad idea after all...


	2. Chapter 2

There was something intimate about laying in one bed with Feliks. Toris wondered if others would feel the same way, or if it was just him.

"You seem tense," Feliks said. He rolled over onto his side so he could take a better look at his friend. "Are you two not doing it anymore?"

"W-What?"

"You and Natalia. She doesn't seem like the affectionate type."

"We're doing it plenty," Toris said, red creeping onto his cheeks.

"Is it not satisfying then?"

"It is. It's very satisfying."

"When was the last time you came?"

Toris pushed himself up on his arms. "Recently."

"Like, a year ago?"

Toris didn't know what to say. He felt embarrassed, caught in the act, but he couldn't tell why. His sex life wasn't anyone's business. What did it matter if he didn't come? He was okay with that, so everything was just fine.

"How can you have sex all the time and not come? Is she that selfish?"

"Natalia is not selfish."

"Right. Sorry."

"It just… happens so fast. She's done way before I am. I don't want to force her to keep going when she's already finished."

"But… that's what you do when you care about someone. I'd do it for you."

Something exploded in Toris' chest like it hadn't in a long time.

"You're not some sex doll. You deserve to come too."

"I don't think she cares about that." He felt sick speaking badly about Natalia. He owed her so much, and he should be grateful that she even spent time with him at all. But at some point, even he couldn't deny reality anymore.

"Then she doesn't care about you."

The words were like a kick in the stomach. Deep down, Toris knew them to be true. He'd known for a while. But he didn't want to give up what he was told he should cherish. He'd told himself that their happy moments outweighed the bad ones. But lately, he wasn't so sure anymore. Something had died in their relationship, and he was the only one keeping it alive from the start.

If she didn't love him, who would? No one, she'd told him. He'd decided it was better to be with her than to be alone. But as time went by, he started being relieved whenever Natalia was out of town, whenever he had a moment without her.

"Do you even know how to be loved?" Feliks asked. He was closer now, his arm resting against Toris'.

"Sure I do."

"Do you? Or have you forgotten?"

"Well, I…" But he couldn't think of anything to say.

"I can show you."

"Show me what?"

"What it's supposed to be like."

Something crept up on Toris, a fear, an excitement… a _want_. "What what's supposed to be like?" he asked, afraid to get the wrong assumption.

"Sex. Love."

"I know what it's supposed to be like."

"Then you also know that what you're getting, is neither of those things."

"I…" He moved away, but changed his mind and moved back again. "Isn't it wrong?"

"Why would it be?"

"I'm with Natalia. She won't like if I sleep with someone else."

"She doesn't have to know. And besides, if she doesn't want her boyfriend getting affection somewhere else, maybe she shouldn't have treated him so badly."

Toris thought about it. Sure, he could justify it for himself. But it would change his relationship with Natalia forever. It could possibly be the end of it. "What if Natalia breaks up with me over this? She'll kick me out, and then I'll be all on my own."

"Then you can come here. I'll always be there for you."

"But still…"

"Toris." Feliks leaned closer, placing a hand on either side of the other's body. "Would you truly miss this relationship? Or would it maybe be just a little liberating?"

Toris tried to think, but it was hard with his friend hovering so close above him. "Am I a bad person?" The question escaped his lips before he could even think it through.

"You're not a bad person for refusing to be exploited. You're not a bad person for wanting basic affection. And you're not a bad person for wanting to escape a relationship in which there's no place for you."

Toris' thoughts were a waterfall crashing through him until it all amounted into him leaning up and pressing his lips against Feliks'.

Feliks froze in surprise at first, but then he melted, wrapping his arms around the person beneath him. "Let me take care of you," he whispered in his ear. "Let me show you what it's like to be loved."

Toris looked at him, a flicker of hesitation in his eyes. He'd be vulnerable, more so than he'd ever been with Natalia. But he had an undeniable craving for that same vulnerability, and he decided at that moment that he trusted Feliks. He didn't dare rely on his voice, nor his brain's abilities to form coherent words. So instead, he just nodded.

Feliks placed kisses all over until he came across a spot which had Toris biting his lip. He lingered on it a while longer, humming as the first pleased sounds escaped the other's lips. "Can you take your shirt off for me?" he breathed.

Toris sat up and did as he was told. His eyes then wandered to Feliks' fully clothed form. "Are you going to take yours off too?"

"If you want me to."

Natalia sometimes didn't even bother to undress. "Yes."

Feliks wasted no time in discarding his pajama shirt.

"A-And your pants?"

"What?"

"Nevermind…"

"Toris, tell me. What do you want?"

He looked down, not daring to speak.

Feliks cupped his face. "Tonight is all about you. I need you to tell me what you want."

He worried his lip between his teeth.

"Do you want me to take off my pants?"

He nodded.

"Then I will." He stole a small kiss and got to work. "There, they're gone."

Toris took him in. A strange sensation crept upon him, something he hadn't felt in ages. A heat gathered all the way down in the pit of his stomach. He had an urge to touch, to kiss, to _feel_. He tried to remember the last time Natalia made him feel that way, the last time her naked body had sent tingles through his own. Feliks, on the other hand, was way too far away for his liking. "You said I could tell you what I want?"

"I insist."

"Then…"

"Yes?" Feliks moved a bit closer, but it wasn't close enough.

Toris tried to put words to his want, but there was so much he wanted, all of it fighting to be satisfied. In the end, there were only two words for him to breathe out: "Touch me."

That was all Feliks needed. He crossed the distance between them, pressing Toris down against the mattress. He kissed him deeply before moving down his neck once more. He used his lips, his teeth, anything to draw more blissful sounds from his partner. Once he arrived at his chest, Toris was writhing beneath him. "You've gotten so sensitive."

His response was a low groan.

Feliks moved even lower, down towards the bulge that was awaiting him there. "Can I remove your pants?"

"Oh, yes…"

Feliks smirked and removed the pajama pants, as well as his shorts, setting his hard member free. He dragged a finger along it, watching the man below him tense. "Just tell me if I do anything you don't like, okay?"

Toris nodded and swallowed.

Feliks leaned down and took the tip into his mouth. He placed his hands on Toris' thighs, drawing circles with his thumbs to ease the tension. He swirled his tongue around as well, relishing in the moan it elicited. He took him in deeper, eager for more of Toris' sounds.

Toris tried to keep his legs still, but he couldn't help but open and close them in response to Feliks' every movement. He tried not to make too much noise.

"Don't hold back."

Toris noticed the absence of stimulation even before the words got through to him. "What?"

"You don't need to be quiet."

"Natalia doesn't like it when I make noise."

"But I'm not Natalia. And I, for one, love every sound you make."

"You really don't mind?"

"You know how much I love giving the neighbors something to talk about."

"I-I think I can do that."

"Just relax." He stroked Toris' chest. "We're having fun."

Toris took a deep breath and forced his muscles to relax. He didn't even realize how tense he was until he went limp on the bed.

"That's it. Relax. And, most of all, enjoy."

"Is it okay if I close my eyes?"

"Of course."

Toris did so and focused only on what he could feel. Pleasure shot through him like an electric current, starting from where Feliks moved his mouth along his length. His moans grew louder until he barely recognized them as his own. His hips lifted in the air as the pleasure intensified. Feliks hummed around him, the vibrations enough to make Toris' back arch. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out.

"Whenever you're ready," Feliks said as if reading his mind. He started deep-throating him, picking up the pace too.

Toris gripped the sheets as the pleasure grew to impossible heights. Just when he thought he couldn't take anymore, the pleasure exploded into a climax that had him shaking and gasping for air.

Feliks swallowed his cum and sat up, licking his lips. "Now, how was that?"

"That was amazing… But what about you?"

"Don't worry about that. Tonight is all about you."

"And what if I want to please you too?"

A smirk played around Feliks' lips. "Oh, do you now?"

"Yes, I do."

"You should know that watching you just now was totally satisfying already. And it's not like you owe me anything either."

"I still want it. I want to… _be_ with you."

Feliks crawled closer until their noses were almost touching. "And where do you want me?"

Toris lifted himself up so he could whisper in the other's ear. "I want you_ inside_ me."

Feliks kissed his cheek and opened his nightstand drawer. He grabbed a bottle of lube and coated his fingers with it. "Are you ready?"

Toris nodded.

Feliks slipped a first finger in, and then a second one. He moved around, stretching Toris out. He added a third finger, and a bit later, he was satisfied. He pulled his fingers out and pulled off his own underwear, revealing his own hard length.

Toris couldn't help staring at it. He was surprised by how much he wanted it.

Feliks moved between his legs and positioned himself. He looked for permission, and after making eye contact with Toris, he pushed himself inside. He made sure to move slowly, carefully, wanting to avoid hurting Toris at all cost. Only when he'd made sure that the other wasn't uncomfortable did he dare move faster.

Toris moaned, feeling freer to do so now. His hands found Feliks and he pulled the other closer to them, kissing him deeply as their hips moved in tandem. Feliks, in turn, wrapped Toris in his embrace.

Toris' moans were muffled in Feliks' skin, in his blond hair. Feliks' own groans only ignited the fire more. He moved his hips faster as Toris did too. He brought a hand down and rubbed Toris' cock, eliciting a scream from the other.

Toris wanted to warn him that he was about to come, but he didn't get the chance. He came hard, his mind momentarily leaving his body. He tensed as Feliks helped him through his orgasm before going limp in his arms. He noticed Feliks pulling out. "Don't."

"What?"

"You haven't come yet."

He stroked Toris' face. "It's okay."

"It's not. I want you to come inside me. And besides... I care about you."

Feliks seemed surprised for a moment but didn't object. He started moving once more, rapidly, until less than a minute later, he came too. He looked up when a hand cupped his face and his eyes met Toris' glazed over ones.

Toris had known his friend for years, but he'd never realized how much he liked being around him. And he couldn't have predicted any of what had just happened.

"How are you feeling?" Feliks asked, kissing the other's hand.

"I…" With every sense wide awake, there was only one thing he could say. "That was the best sex I've ever had."

* * *

Toris' heart sank to the floor when he saw Natalia's car parked in front of the house. She was back early. He walked inside, bracing himself.

"Where have you been?"

"Just to the park."

"Don't fool me." She was busy unpacking her bag, not even sparing him a glance. "We both know you wouldn't do that."

"Well, I was looking for a gift for you to welcome you home."

"As if."

Toris stood in the living room, fidgeting. He wasn't sure if more excuses would make things better or worse.

"Who have you been with?"

"I…"

"Spit it out. Who of those good-for-nothings fooled you into meeting up this time?"

"Well, I was with Feliks…"

She huffed. "He's the worst of all. I'm sure he was awaiting his chance. I don't trust that boy one bit."

"We had a good time. We watched movies and—"

"You won't see him again."

"But…"

She brushed past him with a pile of clothes destined for the laundry machine.

Toris felt himself crumble where he stood. That feeling of security, of being loved… He wasn't sure if he could let it go that easily. For the first time, he realized he might emotionally starve in this house until there was nothing left of him. He'd spend his days collecting scraps of what he pretended to be affection, killing himself on the inside to keep living here.

He looked at the house around him. He hadn't felt attached to it in a long time. And maybe that was for a good reason. Maybe this wasn't where he belonged.

"What are you standing around there for? Help me unpack."

Natalia went to the kitchen and Toris took that chance to sneak upstairs. But instead of tidying away Natalia's belongings, he grabbed a bag for himself. Once he'd packed all his necessities, he looked around the bedroom one last time. Deciding he had nothing left to stay for, he went back downstairs.

Natalia spotted him gathering what little belongings he had scattered around the house. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making room for you."

"That's… thoughtful."

Once he was sure he had everything, he zipped up the bag and flung it over his shoulder.

"Are you going somewhere?"

"Yes, I'm leaving."

She was in front of him in the blink of an eye. "What was that?"

"Last night… I felt alive. And it made me realize that I've been withering away here all this time."

"You've lost your mind."

"No. No, I think I've found it."

She tried to protest, but Toris brushed past her. He didn't look back even once as he walked out the door. He had someone else to be with.


End file.
